Mosaic

There will be a point in your life where hearing the phrase “Ni De Aqui, Ni De Alla” resonates with you. Then there will be another point in your life where you’re heard it so much in every setting imaginable and you start to despise it. You will start to hear the undertone of shame and of not feeling enough when someone says it. You will notice how others nod in agreement and use it to pity the rich cultures of Latin America, the journey of displacement, and the rich cultures of the United States. This will stir something in you and lead you to reflect inwards. 

Why did “Ni De Aqui, Ni De Alla” resonate at some point? Was that phrase and mindset the reason why you overcompensated your identity as a Cuban immigrant? Was this why you felt ashamed and disconnected because you did not have memories from Cuba even though you migrated to the United States at the age of three? Was this why you only listened to music in Spanish for years? Was this why you taught yourself how to read and write in Spanish when you were told that your English was getting better than your Spanish? Was this why you made sure to let everyone know your middle name is Yuliet which is like Juliet but with a Y because there was a period of time when Cubans became obsessed with the letter Y because of the influence of the Soviet Union? Was this why you joined three organizations with one thing in common: being Latina? That sounds exhausting because it actually was exhausting and a headache to constantly feel like you have to prove yourself to everyone you meet. 

What if you could be everything and still be you? What if you were enough on every side of your identity? You can choose to experience the beauty in the differences of the cultures you carry within you and the beauty of just being. You can choose to share the stories you were told at home in the world and speak them in a way that connects these two places that nurtured you and saw you grow as a person. You are more than one piece of your identity. Like a mosaic, all the pieces fit together perfectly to create something beautiful. 

Leave the unnecessary shame behind. Know that you are enough. Home does not have to be a place or a time in your life. The home you seek is within you. You were, you are, and you will always be enough if you choose to know this as a fact of life.

Con Mucho Amor, 

Mango Street Dreaming